


Ain't Nobody Like You, You Don't Even Like You

by LettersofSky



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, First Time, M/M, Self-cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 07:31:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19329961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LettersofSky/pseuds/LettersofSky
Summary: Gamzee's having himself a fine time dealing with things as best he can when his everything's disturbed by a new addition to their timeline escaping his own doomed one.Naturally due to their mutual despise of each other mixed with Gamzee's self-esteem issues makes for an inevitable result.





	Ain't Nobody Like You, You Don't Even Like You

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [HRKinkmeme](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/HRKinkmeme) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Sober!Gamzee x Stoned!Gamzee
> 
> This pair could make some of the most wild and possibly violent pitch selfcest imaginable, anf the concept is sorely underexplored. Please help remedy this situation with your filthiest words.
> 
> I really freaking liked this one and I'm probably going to take the liberty to do a few more pieces for this prompt idea later? Like... continue on from here >:3c with better/more smut  
> Sorry it's probably not as violent as the prompter wanted ;w; I'm not the best with writing violence just yet ;w;

Gamzee… doesn’t know where he is. Which, while not being the most out of place thing for him is… distressing right about now.

He remembered… not much if he were being honest with himself, something else that wasn’t too unusual given the rotted state of his pan from his regular ingestion of sopor slime. But combined those two things left the young subjuggulator more than a little uneasy.

Doesn’t help that the room he’s in is dark, barely lit with far too deep shadows lurking at the corners. Doesn’t help that he feels like there’s something watching him from somewhere he can’t exactly see, something… that he didn’t think is too pleased with him all that much.

There’s a noise from somewhere to his right and his head swings in that direction, only for the shadows to shift on his other side, drawing his attention there. This is all… too much for his addled brain to cling to, too much and not enough information swirling with fear and tense anxiety he doesn’t often let himself feel too greatly.

Gamzee wasn’t used to this, he didn’t like it at all. He wanted to be back with the others and a bit safer than he was here.

“But you wouldn’t be.”

The words are growled, low and dangerous from some unseen place in the room with Gamzee and he freezes, holding himself still and taunt as his eyes sweep over the room, seeking out the danger in here with him somewhere. The voice… sounds a little bit like his own but that’s, that’s impossible, just an imagined figment of his fractured pan’s making.

Gamzee waits for a time, until his nerves command he move and escape and find the others to –

“They ain’t gonna watch you back none, brother.” Gamzee stiffened as the words were whispered into the delicate flesh of his half-formed ear-fins, so close and so dangerous in his pan, digging deep into the darkest of his fear-musings. “They ain’t care enough to give even a SINGLE MOTHERFUCKING DAMN ABOUT YOUR SOPOR-ROTTED SELF to want you safe.”

Gamzee tries to shake his head, to deny the voice what it was trying to tell him despite flinching at the sudden increase in the volume of the voice and the way they resinated deep within his pumper, deep in the very soul of him.

Whoever was behind him was obviously having none of it though if the way they scoffed and kicked Gamzee forward with a foot to the middle of his spine was anything to go by. The strength of them was something Gamzee hadn’t experienced before and it sent him flying across the room, slamming into the metal of the wall on the other side of the room. He curled into himself as he landed, cradling his arm to his chest as he felt the sting of torn, bleeding flesh from it.

And then he turned his head up to see what had kicked him.

It was… him. Him but, but not. It was him but standing taller, straighter with a scowl on his face, paint messy and wounds running across the span of his face. It was… wrong, off, like his reflection in the ocean’s tides, him but, but not at the same time.

Gamzee drew further back against the wall, he didn’t have a weapon on him other than his claws and his own self and he didn’t, didn’t like the way the other him was looking at him, like he was at once something to be thrown away and be kept close and protected and he’d never had to deal with anything close to that before. It was terrifying, he didn’t want it.

“Don’t go getting lost on a brother now,” the other him’s voice was soft again, soft and mocking with wicked harshness. He rolled purple-on-red eyes and strode closer, approaching where Gamzee was still lying on the floor, kneeling down in front of him and grasping his face harshly in a sharp, dangerous, blood-stained claw. “No one likes explaining shit twice, especially to your ass. You need to MOTHERFUCKIN GET YOUR EARS ON AS TO WHAT I’M TELLING TO YOU, YOU BRAIN-DEAD MOTHERFUCKIN DISGRACE OF A BROTHER.”

That gets Gamzee to snap at him, bare his teeth and growl at this him-but-not motherfucker. He only growls back, harsher, crueller, lower and far more dangerous than Gamzee’s own, leaving him struggling not to try to escape his grasp even more.

This close Gamzee could smell the blood under the other’s nails, stained and carried with him to mark him as a killer. It was… a familiar scent, the blood but you couldn’t quite place…

“A motherfuckin pathetic piece of cull-bait.” The other him whispered shifting forward to drag his fangs over Gamzee’s flesh, pulling an unwanted shiver and a soft noise from the pan-addled troll. “Pathetic and more motherfuckin desperate than a whore.”

“Sh-shut up,” Gamzee whimpered, hating the other him for making him make that noise, for saying those things in his own voice. “Shut up! You… you lying…”

“Poor little pan-addled motherfucker can’t even be cursing a brother right can he?” Blood-stained claws reached up to curl tight in wild curls, close to sensitive horn beds, wrenching Gamzee head back so dangerously, sharp fangs could rest against the vulnerable flesh of his throat. “S’why dad left ain’t I? Cause you were never doing right about no thing were you?” Gamzee froze at the teeth and the cooed words, danger and unsafe and threat filling his senses. “I won’t though, keep a brother safe, can’t be doing it himself, needs a motherfucker to be doing it for – “

“I DON’T!” Gamzee snapped, voice tremoring with rage and all of the unease within himself. One of his own hands snapped up to grasp a familiar spiralling horn and jerk a grinning face around from him. The sight of it only made him madder, like the other motherfucker was making mockery at him, just letting himself be moved, something Gamzee could recognize in his own behaviours and motherfuck did he hate having that turned back to himself. “Don’t nobody be needin no lying claude-culler around!”

Those scents, familiar and known with them so close to Gamzee’s nose, his STRONG Friend, the Kitty-Sister, why had this lying monster hurt them? Why? There was… there was no way Gamzee would ever hurt one of his friends! Especially not…

“What? Little motherfucker can’t be getting his knowin on as to why he’d turn on his blue?” Mocking words match a mocking smile, eyes half-lidded and burning with a self-satisfied glow. “Blue brother was all kinds a asking for it. Always. Ain’t no fault a mine you could never wrap ya little brain ‘round it.”

“SHUT YOUR MOTHERFUCKIN MOUTH!” Gamzee forced the too solid, heavy form away from him, though instead of going as far as he’d been hoping the other him only rolled the smallest amount before starting to cackle madly, form shaking with uncontrollable laughter.

“Oh you should see your face, my MOTHERFUCKIN REGRET OF A BROTHER.” Cruel eyes turned back to Gamzee, sharp fangs baring in a cold grin. “Don’t worry, I gave him what he wanted, what ya couldn’t. YOU’LL GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE’S BEEN BEGGIN FOR!”

“No,” Gamzee almost sobbed, cracked and dulled claws moving to cover his own ears, curls bouncing on his head as he shook it, refusing to listen to anything else the monster was trying to say to him. “No, no, no, no, no. I’m not… I can’t… not me, not me, not me.”

Silence.

Stillness.

Nothing for so long that Gamzee’s almost able to convince himself that the other not-him was just a figment of his imagination, created from the stress and trauma of the game, nothing more.

Sharp claws prick at his skin as hands press under his own, drawing them away from his ears even as he whimpered and snapped at the facsimile of himself, a cold weight moving to rest in his lap.

“Hush now, my most precious of motherfuckers,” cooed quietly as a sharp nose nudged against Gamzee’s own, a sickening, mocking false-pale. “You won’t have to do no thing you’re too motherfuckin chicken shit to be doin. You’ve got a motherfucker here that’ll help a brother,” hips rolled down against his own, causing Gamzee to whimper and the wrong-him to groan throatily. “Got a motherfucker that’ll… that’ll… fuck bro, ain’t no need to worry none I’ll do the things you can’t.”

Gamzee tried to shake his head, tried to get away from the slim figure rolling hips into his own, but the other was stronger, holding him in place and not allowing him to budge at all. “I don’t… don’t,” he struggled to get words to work, to give voice to his thoughts.

But the other wasn’t having it.

“S’alright brother,” sharp teeth snapped a hair’s breadth from Gamzee’s face. “You’re scared a pitch, ain’t you? Fuckin disgrace of a troll. Don’t worry, got a motherfucker that actually knows what he’s doing now. I’ll make use a you, make you WORTH MOTHERFUCKIN KEEPING.” The words were snarled and Gamzee could feel the dangerous comforting rumble of them deep in a skinny chest.

“No you won’t,” Gamzee gasped, lips pulling back at his first real close up sight of the displaced. This close he could see the wounds were scars, made prominent by picking and fussing at it unchecked. “Else ya’d a stayed where ya came from instead a being here.”

That caused purple-on-red to narrow at him, far-too-close to Gamzee’s face for him to see anything but the sharp malice and keen intelligence in eyes so similar to his. There’s more colour in them then his own, he notices distantly, almost completely purple instead of his only soft bleeding-in colouring. Older by a little bit of time then.

“You don’t be knowing ANY of WHAT YOU’RE MOTHERFUCKIN TALKIN ON!”

Gamzee scoffed weakly, trying to cover up his flinch at the noise, the other moved too quickly to be able to follow it all, it was all too much for him to follow. But, but he wouldn’t let that stop him from trying.

“You, motherfuckin fucked up… and they ain’t wanted you no more, so they kicked you out… and now you’re gonna make sure it happens to me…”

Gamzee’s words faded away into a whimper as blood-stained claws tightened in his hair, digging into his scalp painfully. He was then shaken roughly, nose crushed by the other’s as more and more of his personal space was taken.

“YOU THINK think for even a breath that they ain’t gonna toss you out moment they’re tired a ya? Once they motherfuckin get tired a ya kindness and motherfuckin pan-rotten attemptings to be of help?” Gamzee could feel the prick of fangs against his lips from their proximity, taste the sneer on each inhale. “Think they’ll care that you ain’t hurt none a them when they decide you ain’t worth keeping around? Whattaya got on offering for ‘em? MOTHERFUCKING NOTHING!”

Gamzee surges forward instead of answering, biting into lips pressed to his own and tasting blood his own on his tongue, his own hands moving to clumsily get a hold somewhere on the other, fingers sluggish and fumbling unlike the sure, firm and confident hands holding him in return. But motherfuck was Gamzee going to give as well as he could.

The kiss was hard, painfully from fangs biting, cutting and a sure tongue pressing deliberately on bleeding wounds and it did very little to muffle the noises being made between the two of them. Whines and groans wet with blood and the deepest pitch.

Cruel claws tightened in Gamzee’s hair, wicked in their knowing and wrenched his head back with a move that the other had definitely done before. Nipping, scraping teeth and a learned tongue turning freezing attention to his throat, hips moving down harshly into his own.

Gamzee tried to get himself from the grip but there was too much sensation firing through his system for him to be able to muster enough to focus on that, a problem the other was seemingly absent of, the motherfucker.

“L-let go of…”

“Hush now my useless motherfucker,” sharp, spoken against his throat and easily overpowering Gamzee’s own voice. “Gonna give ‘em reason ta keep ya, just you wait an’ see. Ain’t no troll gonna wanna toss us to the ways after we’re done.” The promise was punctuated by a slow languid roll of a groin against Gamzee’s own, the unsheathed bulge within able to be felt through the fabric of loose sleeping pants.

“I –“ Gamzee cut himself off, teeth slamming into his lip to keep himself from making the noise that was threatening to come  out of his mouth. He didn’t want to give the other the satisfaction of hearing him making those noises, not at all. “Don’t wanna… wanna learn no thing from, from you.”

“You’re too pan-rotted to know what you want.”

It was simple, stated like it was fact and it made Gamzee furious with the other him. How dare the motherfucker imply that he didn’t, that he didn’t know what he did and didn’t want. Fucker.

Gamzee snarled low, warbling and stuttering, trying to force himself upwards but he was held true and fast, unable to dislodge the other’s grip on him.

“Motherfucker’s still trying to fight?” laughed against Gamzee’s collarbone, the other tugging away baggy, loose fitting fabric to touch the lost familiarity of unscarred skin. “Motherfuckin idiot should stop trying to think so hard, he’ll only hurt himself.” Karkat said that to Gamzee sometimes and it suddenly sounded so much worse coming from a harsher version of his own vocals. “Let a motherfucker that knows better look after you.”

“You don’t -!” Gamzee couldn’t stop himself from groaning this time, the dual feeling of fangs biting down deep into his shoulder mixed with a hand moving without his awareness into his pants to grasp his bulge was too much for him to hold off his noises.

“There we are,” teeth pulled from Gamzee’s flesh as the other spoke, cooing the words against the bleeding wound he’d left there. “Little whore’s finally letting himself go like he should, good little sinner.”

“Sh-shut up,” Gamzee panted, whimpering and trilling softly as the other palms his bulge, sharp nails trailing over his flesh. “I’m not…”

“Right,” the other him scoffed, using the hand still holding Gamzee’s horn to hold him down while he shifts. Moving enough to be able to drag Gamzee’s loose pants over his bony hips and down his legs enough to bare his nook and bulge, cooing down at him. “That’s why you’re motherfuckin wet as all motherfuck, right?”

“N-no!” He snapped, chest heaving with breath and able to feel the colour rising to his cheeks to his ears under his paint. “Why’d anybody want you? Motherfuckin disgusting culler you is!”

“S’not nice to talk about yourself that way.” Gamzee’s breath leaves him in a rush at the bland statement, eyes snapping shut to the sounds of fabric-shifting once more. He whimpered, rutting his hips up into the touch of chill against the top of his thighs, motherfuckin teasing fucker.

Then there was nothing, just silence and stillness and nothing.

Gamzee groaned, an irate, angry noise and forced his eyes open to meet the ones staring down at him, The other not-him watching him with something he didn’t have enough focus to even begin thinking about identifying with his own bulge in his hands, letting it coil lazily over and around his fingers even as Gamzee’s own twisted desperately in on itself searching for some kind of stimulation.

“What are you waiting - ?” Gamzee panted, brow furrowing and hips moving up towards the other impatiently. “Come on.”

“Motherfucker ain’t ever been touched like this have we?” The musing was soft, far softer than Gamzee was expecting. Low and hummed and spoken with kindness instead of cruel anger. The hand on Gamzee’s horn let him go, moving to cup his cheek to guide him up into a kiss, gentler than previous but still with teeth nipping at him. “I can’t remember, you left us poisoned for two long brother. Can’t even remember if some motherfucker’s pailed us before, how motherfuckin sad.”

“And after?” Gamzee questioned, meeting cold eyes with his own hazy pair. “How many motherfuckers did you just let pail you ‘cause you didn’t wanna be alone?”

The other stiffened over him and Gamzee finally got his thoughts together enough to touch back, digging claws into the skin of his hips, tugging him forward weakly.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Liar,” The words was gasped out as the other finally allowed his bulge to worm into him, rocking his hips forward until their groins were flushed against each other.

The other only allowed him a moment before winding his arm around Gamzee’s waist and holding him tightly to himself, starting a harsh, rhythm into him. Sharp claws dug into Gamzee’s flesh and his own broken and chipped ones dug into scarred flesh in return, teeth biting deep into the meat of Gamzee’s shoulder as the other drove harshly into him, over and over.

Gamzee thrilled, pleased natural noises falling from his throat as he enjoyed the new feeling of a bulge in his nook and someone so close to him for the first time in his memorized. It was pretty fuckin good to be wanted by someone, to be kept close and precious even if it was with an awful version of himself tearing into his skin.

It was a real motherfuckin good time.

The rest of the guys were gonna have a heart attack when Gamzee told them about this, but for now he was going to enjoy this a bit longer.


End file.
